Friday, February 1, 2013

If you cry over spilled milk, It will curdle !!

September 18th, 2060

As the first rays of the U.V enriched (the ozone layer had been completely destroyed some 20 years ago) sun fell on my bright bald head, I knew it was morning. It was going to be a busy morning for me, I had to get my space craft license renewed,  also get my new space craft registered. I was really proud of buying the new 'milky way 007'. It was the flagship model of the Apple I-SPACE series of space crafts. They had gotten into the spacecraft business after Iphone-25 sold like 1 billion pieces. They had also just won a lawsuit against Samsung claiming that they were the first ones to build an aircraft that can reach the Pluto. Anyways, I had a lot to do today, so I put on my glasses which were by my 'airbed'- (a bed which floats 5 feet in the air). I turned on my glasses and there were a bunch of news  headlines and as I scrolled down, I saw a big splash of color, a cake with some E-candles,. It said "Happy 71st birthday Rushil". I had completely forgotten about the day (my growing age wasn't helping my memory either). all my friends from the moon, Mars and earth were there to wish me through their video screens. After all that celebration, i decided to freshen up and read the news.

sitting in my living room, I turned on the projector in my eyeglasses and started to read the daily news. the news screen had a bunch of headlines and here is an excerpt of some of the stories I read. 


1. India sets up three countries with Black Money

India today became the only country in the world to set up three new countries with all the black money its citizens have procured over the past 100 years. these three countries called 'ROKDA', 'DHAN' and 'HAVALA'   have been created of reclaimed land from the Indian ocean. they would be decked up with all the latest infrastructure. The constitution for the countries has been laid out. article 420 of this constitution states that ' a person can claim to be a citizen of the above mentioned countries only if he or she has looted the citizens of India. the minimum value of black money accrued by the person must be in the excess of  1 billion rupees. The newly appointed presidents of these countries who are incidently the grandsons of the chief perpetrators of the Common wealth games, the 2G spectrum and the coal mine scams have said that citizens of India who have a lot of black money would be allowed to invest this money in fake companies in the names of their Mother-in-laws. 

2. The world would finally be out of Recession says IMF chief

the chief of the international monetary fund today claimed that the world would finally be coming coming out of recession by year 2065 thereby ending an almost 60 year long global economic meltdown which saw Somalia, Mali and Fiji become economic super powers. On hearing this news, the President of Somalia decided that they have decided to hand independence to some of the countries under its rule. 
Another aspect that was fueling the growth of the global economy was the discovery of an alternative fuel source, Orange Juice. this after water was used as fuel for about 40 years post the oil drought. On hearing this, political leaders in countries like India have started purchasing orange orchards forcefully from farmers.

3. Earth is about 50 million people away from reaching its limit

The U.N expressed serious concerns this past week about the explosion in global population. The U.N chief warned that earth was just 50 million people away from reaching its limit of 10 billion citizens. A mass evacuation plan has been laid for people to be transported to the moon and mars over the next 15 years. In response to this news, The Indian Government tabled a bill in the parliament that stated that a family could have a maximum of just 10 kids. The proposal for this bill produced mass protests throughout the country. video screens were thrown in parliament during the video conference parliament session. The opposition had a massive logout from the session and has said that it is against Indian culture to stop people from having as many kids as they want.

1.Ms. X wins RAPE ESCAPE SEASON 10

Ms X from Lajpat Nagar, Delhi has won the 10th season of the chart busting reality show 'Rape Escape'. she goes home with a cash kitty of 100 million rupees (inflation has increased so much that even 100 million is an OK amount), a free visit to Asaram Bapu's ashram session on how to avoid rape and bragging rights.  the finale proved to be quite a tough affair. the competition was neck and neck between Ms X and Ms Y. the final task was for both the girls to walk for 10 mins on a pretty prominent street in the heart of Delhi. Ms Y tried real hard, she even used up her two 'izzat' cards as they are called. Izzat cards meaning that she could be covered in clothes from top to bottom. and the second card is that she gets to call a guy who is about to molest her 'BHAIYYA'. Even that didn't work and she was about to get molested when the production crew had to stop. Ms X on the other hand miraculously escaped and was hence awarded the winner.
In an interview after winning, Ms X claims that when she was heading back after winning the show, she was molested on the road by a bunch of guys. she has filed a complain and expects the case to be resolved in a fast track court by the year 2075.

I switched off my eyeglasses and closed my eyes. I was frustrated at the thought that I was reading news about things i thought would improve some 30 years ago. corruption in India, rapes, recession, global warming, population. stuff which were a problem back in the day and the human race believed that all this would be eradicated in the coming future. things had just gotten worse. after a while I opened my eyes and like what has happened in the history of the human race, I stopped crying over spilled milk and just hoped for a better tomorrow. if not in my lifetime then probably in the lifetime of my grand kids.

2 comments:

  1. That's very imaginative!...black money country, izzat cards! well though of!...although how can a news report say that the world recession will end by 2055 when you are already in 2060!...I'd like to know where I am though...on the Moon or on Mars! ;)

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  2. my apologies for the error there. i have corrected it to 2065

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